"You should be enjoying this more." "Why can't you get it together?" "Look at your body. You don't even recognize yourself." "Other moms seem to handle this so much better." "You asked for this. You don't get to struggle." "You're not doing enough. You're never doing enough." You may hear this and for new moms, the inner critic rarely announces itself. It weaves itself into the background of every moment, quiet enough to dismiss, loud enough to exhaust you.

You love your baby more than you knew was possible. And somewhere in the middle of all of that love, you looked up one day and didn't quite recognize yourself. The things that used to make you you: your interests, your friendships, your sense of humor, your goals, even just the way you moved through a day, they feel distant. If this is where you are right now, I want you to know something important: this is one of the most common and least talked about parts of new motherhood

One of the most important things I tell the women I work with is this: you cannot pour from an empty cup. It sounds simple. It's surprisingly hard to actually live. Real kindness — sustainable, genuine, healthy kindness — requires that you also take care of yourself.

When we say yes to avoid conflict, to keep someone happy, to prevent rejection — we're not making a free choice. We're responding to a threat. The threat of disapproval.